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  “Excuse me,” Lucifer said, approaching the man, his anger growing. “You do realize that fanatics like you are the reason that people have turned their backs on God in higher numbers than ever before, yes?”

  The man was visibly offended.

  “I’m trying to save people from the eternal Hell fire of the--”

  “What you’re doing,” Lucifer interrupted again. “Is confusing your own bigotry with religion. Genesis 28:1 describes a conversation between Jacob and Isaac in which the latter warns the former not to marry a Canaanite because of the politics of the time. It had nothing to do with race and it’s absurd to think that The Almighty would be at all interested, much less angered, by people with different skin tones marrying. That you honestly believe that God concerns himself with who you are or are not sleeping with is more tragic than your choice in trousers. Titus was an all right fellow, but a bit of a misogynist and Leviticus,” he scoffed. “I’ll just say that to call it nonsensical rubbish would be a kindness.”

  “God said--”

  “You have no idea what God did or didn’t say,” Lucifer corrected. “I, however, was there for all of it. Let me enlighten you.”

  As the man opened his mouth to speak, Lucifer snapped his fingers, rendering the man paralyzed and silent. While his eyes frantically looked around for help, his captor continued.

  “First,” he began. “Race is just a set of genetic markers having to do with where your ancestors evolved. It has no bearing on your worthiness or ability or anything, really. Aside from looking ever so slightly different and a few health considerations, you are all the same. If you weren’t, would you be able to breed? Can a dog and a cat make hybrid offspring? Of course not. But, an Asian and an African can produce beautiful children. More importantly, God doesn’t give two shits about what you all look like. Your bodies are nothing but carts to carry your souls around in for a short period of time. Now, you may come from different countries and cultures, but those are human-made variations that, again, God doesn’t care about.

  As for homosexuality, it’s nothing new. God decided when He created you that to prevent overpopulation, a certain percentage of you would be attracted to the same sex, just like most other creatures on Earth. We all thought it was quite genius at the time.

  And, as for allowing women to work, or do anything else, for that matter, here’s a newsflash for the misogynist in you: women are men’s equals. Do I need to say that again? Equal. The reason men sought to oppress the females of your species was that my sister inflicted such unimaginable horrors on the earliest humans that they became paranoid beyond reason. Women decided to stay with their children while the men would go hunting because they feared, rightly so, for their safety. Over time, men’s fear of Lilith became fear of women and that fear turned to anger, which led to a feeling of superiority. They turned their wives and daughters into servants and viewed them as a burden. They were considered the property of their closest male relative. In some cultures, they still are. The western world likes to think of itself as more inclusive and feminist than it once was, and for the most part, that’s true. But, then, there are vile creatures like you. You, who wish to enslave your women and make second class citizens out of entire groups of people. And based on what? Skin color? Sexuality? Gender? You’re a buffoon. And you have the gall to assume you know what God wants? You’re oblivious to His wishes. Do you know what infuriates my Father more than anything? Do you? Of course you don’t. I’ll tell you. Misunderstanding. Specifically, misunderstanding that leads to disrespect, cruelty or pain. Systemic racism, bigotry, sexism, with xenophobia being the most ridiculous, since none of your religions have ever gotten it exactly right.” He stepped closer, speaking directly into his ear. “From my perspective, it seems as though some of you just aren’t happy unless you can look down on someone else. You’re disgusting and barbaric, spewing rubbish and infecting the feeble-minded with your hateful disinformation. It’s people like you, vile and contemptible, that keep your boot on the necks of those you call ‘different’ that are the real monsters of this world.”

  He glanced down at the man’s hand and saw a wedding ring.

  “Well, that’s horrifying,” he determined. “I’m going to do the poor woman that chained herself to you a favor.”

  He backed away from the man, far enough that people walking by wouldn’t connect them. He held up his right hand and slowly made a fist. As he did so, the man began to quiver, then shake violently as he stood there on the sidewalk, still unable to move from that spot. Blood poured from his mouth, nose and ears. Pedestrians screamed and several people called nine one one.

  Lucifer smirked as he happily watched the man die, his internal organs crushed to the point of near liquefaction. When he was satisfied of the bigot’s demise, he released his grip and allowed his body to fall to the cold concrete below.

  The pamphlets the man had been holding were now scattered and blowing around on the pavement. Curious, Lucifer picked one up.

  Wife talking back? Children sexually confused? Need help? Come learn how you can take back control of your family and put God back in their hearts.

  Lucifer took note of the address and checked his phone for the time.

  “Better hurry,” he said to himself. “Wouldn’t want to be late.”

  Lucifer strolled casually into the church, irritated by what he saw there. Signs on the wall that read, ‘Take back your God given rights as the head of your household’ and ‘Condemn the wickedness of the homosexual culture’. The pews were full of middle aged white men, all eager for the arrival of the dead man, hoping to be taught how to better control their families. Lucifer, instead, stood at the pulpit, being sure to leave the doors open to the street.

  “Well, well, well,” he addressed the crowd. “There’s not a decent person among you, is there?”

  The men muttered, confused and angry.

  “Don’t be so sensitive,” Lucifer said. “I’m just acknowledging what you must already know. You’re all trash. You’ve come here searching for a way to gain respect from your wives and children, but the truth is, and you know it to be true, that they don’t respect you because you don’t deserve respect. Let me ask you all a question. Have any of you ever tried just not being a dick? Just to see what it’s like?”

  “What the hell is this?!” a man yelled from the back. “I didn’t come here for a lecture.”

  “Of course not. I’ll get to the point shortly. But, first, I’d like to share a secret with you. Not a secret, really, more like a misconception. Hellhounds. Does anyone here know what those are?”

  A man in the front row raised his hand.

  “Yes,” Lucifer called. “The man in the red hat.”

  “Giant monster dogs from Hell?” he guessed.

  “So close, but no,” Lucifer corrected. “That’s the myth. See, over millennia, things get distorted, exaggerated. Men who shape shift into wolves become giant wolf-men. Deer with a single horn become unicorns. And, an obedient worker with anger issues becomes the source of all evil. I’ll be honest with you, that last one stings. Anyhow, the true story of the Hellhound is that the Devil, as you like to say, can control anything in nature. Plants, the weather, the sea. He can cause earthquakes, tidal waves and volcanic eruptions. And, he can control and bend to his will all animals, including dogs. Dogs are his favorite because they can be the most precious, sweet tempered and loyal creatures on Earth, or the most vicious and deadly, depending on their mood. I can relate to that. So, when the Devil is particularly agitated, he likes to enlist dogs as his personal murder machines.”

  Another man raised his hand.

  “Yes, a question.” Lucifer nodded toward him.

  “Look, man,” he said. “I don’t know what kind of preacher you are, but when are we gonna talk about how to get our women in line and turn our queer sons straight again?”

  The crowd cheered. Lucifer was incensed and decided to move things along.

  “A question for the
group,” he began. “Who do you think God will be more upset with? You ignorant, abhorrent experiments in wickedness, or me, the dutiful, but admittedly quick to bouts of violence son who massacred the lot of you?”

  They looked at him and each other, dumbfounded and enraged.

  “I suppose we’ll find out in a couple hundred years or so,” he said, raising his fingers to his lips and whistling loudly. As he placed his hand back down on the lectern, dozens of dogs of various breeds rushed in through the open doors. Some stray, some with their collars and leashes still on, all wild eyed and bearing their teeth. They growled and barked as the parishioners panicked, trying to run for the doors, but being held back by the ferocious canines.

  Lucifer couldn’t help but laugh as he watched the beasts attack, tearing flesh from bone, ripping out throats and biting off noses and fingers. Two of them, attached by a double leash, worked together to pull out and feast on the intestines of a man who was not yet dead. Blood and gore covered every inch of the room, a mess of limbs and unrecognizable body parts littering the floor and seats like garbage after a concert.

  When his appetite for butchery was satiated, Lucifer walked calmly through the carnage, admiring the beauty and strength of the hounds, still chewing hungrily on what was left of the malicious fiends. He whistled again as he left the building, the dogs wandering out behind him, their usual dispositions returning.

  The events of the evening, while enjoyable, did little to alleviate Lucifer’s frustration. He knew that however he chose to distract himself, he would remain irate until he put his sister back in a cell. On the long walk home he realized something else. Gabriel was going to be pissed.

  Allydia watched from the roof of a building across the street as Wyatt walked from the kitchen to the living room sofa, giving his sisters bottles of water while they discussed strategy. She could hear them talking. They had scoured the city and were running out of ideas as to where Lilith could be hiding. She, herself, had men posted all over town with strict instruction to call her if they see any evidence of her whereabouts. So far, they’d come up empty.

  She gazed fondly at Wyatt as he spoke to Gabriel and Uriel, occasionally brushing a rogue strand of hair away from his eye. She was completely captivated. So much so that she didn’t bother turning her head when she felt Lucifer walk up behind her.

  “It’s a little unbecoming, don’t you think?” he asked.

  “Lucifer,” she greeted him, still not facing him as he stood next to her.

  “You must explain this to me. What is it about Barachiel that you find so interesting?”

  “Nothing,” she told him. “It’s Wyatt that intrigues me. He’s fascinating.”

  “Ah, the human persona my dear brother is currently chained to. Tell me, is it the personal baggage, the emotional instability or the tendency to cry at the drop of a hat that gets your nether regions tingling?”

  “It’s his eyes, I think,” she said, still watching through the windows. “And his intensity. He’s all rage and despair. It’s intoxicating.”

  “Well, that’s unhinged.”

  “I would call it ‘passionate’.”

  “And, I would call it stalking, but potato, potahto. Just don’t let Gabriel see you. She’s developed somewhat of a maternal instinct when it comes to our younger brother. If she knew you were camped out here, observing him like a zoo animal, she would be less than thrilled.”

  “I don’t answer to your sister,” she said firmly.

  “Don’t you?”

  “Speaking of, how is Gabriel going to feel about all the people you killed tonight? I can smell their blood all over you. Lucky for you, I’ve already eaten.”

  “Yes,” he said. “She’ll be less than pleased, I’m sure. But, she can hardly lecture me about morality after what she’s done.”

  “The demons in the theater?”

  Lucifer nodded.

  “One of my spies told me about that,” she said. “I have to say, I was impressed.”

  “To be honest, so was I. I didn’t think this version of my sister had it in her. Human emotions and the like. Well, I should go face the music, I suppose.”

  “Have fun getting your ass kicked,” Allydia called as he scurried down the side of the building.

  “I always do,” he joked back.

  “I remember.”

  Gabriel met Lucifer at the door. She waited for him to lock it back then grabbed him by the collar and dragged him down the hall to his bedroom.

  “What was that about?” Wyatt asked.

  “Looks like boss lady’s about to whoop some ass,” Valerie answered.

  Gabriel closed the door behind them and telekinetically threw him across the room, slamming him hard against the wall above his bed.

  “The fuck?!” she demanded.

  “Come now,” he said. “They had it coming.”

  “I’m not saying I don’t understand the impulse, but that is not appropriate behavior.” she told him angrily. “You can’t just go around killing every asshole that deserves a beat down.”

  “Why ever not?”

  “Because there’d be no people left,” she explained. “You got pissed off at the awful things those pricks were saying. Imagine hearing the depraved shit everyone’s thinking all the time. If I killed every dumpster fire human that I deemed unfit to live, the population would plummet by like,--”

  “Fifty?” he poked.

  She sighed. “I was gonna say ‘half’, but I take your point. I’m not perfect, either. But--”

  “They were brutish degenerates that were abusing their families,” he interrupted. “The way I see it, I did the world a favor by removing their wretched chauvinism from the Earth, and in spectacular fashion, if I do say so myself.”

  “Are you just too fucked up?” she wondered. “Did I make a mistake? Should I have left you in a coma? Should I put you back in one?”

  “Now, now, don’t be cross,” he urged. “We haven’t much time before Lilith’s healed. We should be searching.”

  “We’ve been searching. While you were off on a murder spree, we’ve been scouring the city. But, she’s still out there, so fine. But, I swear to God, Lucifer, if you pull another stunt like that--”

  “You’ll what?” he asked, willing himself free and setting his feet on the bed. He stepped down to the floor and walked toward her. “Honestly. You know that I’m the only hope you have of caging our venomous sister and you’re keenly aware that if you attempt to go up against her without me, you’ll get yourself, not to mention our weaker siblings, killed or worse. She’s stronger than you. Stronger than all of you together. You need me.”

  “Just because you’re right doesn’t mean you’re not a severe pain in my ass.”

  He smirked. “I would apologize for my behavior if I were at all remorseful,” he told her.

  “As long as you understand why I’m pissed.”

  “I understand, but it’s not as if you didn’t know who I was. Now, why don’t we move passed tonight and focus on the job at hand? We have a monster to capture,” he said, walking by her toward the door.

  “Lucifer,” she said, turning to look at him as he opened the door. He turned to face her again.

  “Yes, Gabriel?”

  She approached him and, without a word, punched him in the face, breaking his nose and knocking him to the floor. She stepped over him to leave the room as he healed himself.

  “I deserved that,” he muttered to himself.

  “And I already know about crazy eyes across the street.” she called back to him as she walked down the hall.

  Chapter 23

  Allydia entered her penthouse and was stunned at what she found. Tobin, her Governor of New York, was lying dead in a pool of blood on her foyer floor, his intestines pulled out and strewn around him. She slowly crept down the hall, passing his heart mounted to the wall on a hook that had previously held a mirror, now broken, and his liver and kidneys on the floor among the shards of glass. As she walked
into the living room, she saw his lungs lying haphazardly on the coffee table.

  “He was one of my favorites,” she said when she spotted Lilith clutching her stomach on her chaise. She looked pale and smelled of blood and burned flesh and Allydia wondered what weapon could have rendered her so weak and how she could get her hands on it.

  “You shouldn’t have had him spying on me, then, daughter,” Lilith reprimanded.

  “I had to be sure it was you,” Allydia explained. “It’s been a very long time.”

  “What is it they say now?” Lilith asked. “Bullshit? Yeah, I’m calling bullshit.”

  “Step Mother, you don’t understand,”

  “I think I do. You’re angry with me because you know what I did in Eridu. That’s valid. Had you come to me with your grievances, we could have hashed it out. I may have even apologized. Probably not, but it might have been a possibility. But, you sought out the angels for help in getting your revenge, and I can’t abide that.”

  She flicked her wrist, causing a large shard of broken mirror to fly up and plunge into Allydia’s back. She gasped, then cried out in pain, reaching behind her to pull it out.

  “Don’t worry,” Lilith told her. “I won’t kill you. As disappointed as I am in you and your lack of decision making skills, I’m hopeful that we can rebuild our relationship. We used to be such a good team, you and I. Do you remember? I miss those days. And the nights! The men and the blood. The sex. We can have it all again. Once I’m rid of the angel menace, you’ll be by my side, aiding me in reshaping this hopeless planet into the kind of world we deserve. A place where we’re worshiped and revered, as I once was, before my Father so brutally thrust me into the darkness.”